Yup, we missed the boat for New Years Resolutions (which are bullshit anyway), but regardless, fellow TDT writer Norwood Derr and myself are attempting to give up the tobacco tubes. Disaster, frustration, and replacement vices loom in the near future, but at least you guys get a sweet mix out of it. We have no interest in persuading you to quit too, mostly because A.) smoking really does make you look cooler and B.) we are doing this for shallow reasons including money, smelling better, and wanting to play with our new Bowflex. Needless to say, it will be an uphill battle for two bastards like us.
To make things worse, I consulted my spiritual advisor/occasional Columbia student Robert about the matter and instead of helping, he made me a list of reasons why I should not quit smoking. Here are some of his better points:
-”You’ll never be famous.”
-”You’ll never have the joy of realizing that you ‘accidently’ stole someone’s lighter again.”
-”If 2012 happens, it would be pretty gay if you didn’t have a cig in your mouth that gets lit by an explosion (like in the end of Heathers).”
-”New Hampshire will mean nothing to you.”
Thanks a lot, Bob. I think we’re still gonna give it a shot, though. To supplement this self-indulgent post, here is a mix of songs we believe provide an accurate soundtrack to the thought process of anyone else whose in the same position. Best of luck, you walking ashtrays.
MP3 :::
Red House Painters – Lord Kill the Pain
Gun Club – She’s Like Heroin to Me
Pere Ubu – Nonalignment Pact
Misfits – Attitude
GG Allin – Bored to Death
James Chance & The Contortions – I Can’t Stand Myself
Black Flag – Nervous Breakdown
DNA – Not Moving
Pixies – Debaser
Guided by Voices – Alone, Stinking, on the Conan O’Brien Show, but Unafraid
