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An Open Letter to King Khan and the BBQ Show

265853408_l An Open Letter to King Khan and the BBQ Show

To Whichever BBQ Bro It May Concern,

Hey everybody! What’s good? Not much here. Just getting ready to fuck up a can of Campbell’s Chunky for lunch. Should rule.

Welp… heard you all got in a lil’ pickle outside of Nashville in Hopkinsville, Ky. Got nailed for having a lil’ “controlled substance” for party hard solutions. That’s a bummer, man. It’s kinda like the song “Rollin’ Dirty” with the Bone Thug bros. I probably would’ve been humming that to myself if I were in a similar situation. Anyway, good to hear you’re out of the slammer. Hope you followed protocol and bitched up to someone. I’ve not been incarcerated myself, but it’s my understanding that doing such is just good standard operating procedure. When in Rome, amirite?

Alright, let’s get to brass tacks. I read in a recent interview with Sam Hunt, your booking agent with Windish (who’s a super great guy who helped us secure a lot of awesome shows for WRFL when I hung tough there – tell him we said hello), who gave the local reporter in Hopkinsville a couple of preliminary ruminations from the band: “I’d kind of be surprised if they played again,” Hunt said. “It’s been a real drag, you know? It’s been a real shame for a lot of reasons. They’ll probably never set foot in Kentucky again.”

Ever play again? What, are you guys that wimpy? That shit’s sad, Khan. Lil’ Wayne’s getting his ass arrested all the time, but he still seems to release 500 mixtapes a year and rock a House of Blues or two. I mean, you’re following in a fine tradition of rock stars sporting the fluorescent jumpsuit – check out Rolling Stone’s Hall of Fame. Work this to your advantage. All press is good press, guys. That’s PR 101.

Secondly – “never set foot in Kentucky again”? Dude, that’s some Laguna Beach shit. Like, “She tried to hook up with Stephen, I’m never talking to that bitch again.” What’s with the pedestrian playground mentality? You guys are Pitchfork fodder with a deece record contract. Time to put on the big boy pants now.

Look… unfortunately, there’s no room in this letter to discuss the nature of the war on drugs. Sure, it totally sucks you all were arrested and jailed for a non-violent crime and drug laws in the states are kinda fucked. But the fact of the matter is, right or wrong, the law is the law, and drugs are crazy illegal (see your local statute book and The Wire). So if you’re going to do something illegal, don’t get caught. If you have drugs in the car, it should go without saying that you roll careful style. And if you don’t successfully evade Johnny Law, displacing blame for getting caught with your own stash (that you’re fully aware is not legal) is kinda immature and makes you sorta look like an asshole. Just sayin’.

I understand that you weren’t pulled over for speeding or the like, but were stopped at a random safety checkpoint. Regardless, an officer cannot search your vehicle (”illegal search and seizure” in legalese) in any case without either probable cause or your consent.

The band’s official statement said “officers located a controlled substance in the cab of the vehicle.” That begs the question – how did the officers locate your shroomage? Did you allow them to search your van?  Or did you have your paraphernalia all strewn about the vehicle, providing plain sight probable cause? If it’s the former, what the hell? I have nothing else to say to you. If it’s the latter… dude, hide your shit. Especially at checkpoints! It didn’t exactly sneak up on you, ya know! The majority of the Interstate system is comprised of long stretches of completely straight asphalt, as per the original Eisenhower plan. Especially in places like western Kentucky where it’s flat!

The only other scenario I can picture is that manager Kristin Klein’s expired or suspended license warranted the search. Maybe someone who had a driver license should’ve been behind the wheel. Again, good job.

So, like, all things considered, responding to your own ineptitude by saying “fuck this state, we’re never coming here again” is rather asinine, don’t you think? Saving face and manning up is a good style. Just somethin’ to chew on. If you do decide to tour these parts again though, The Decibel Tolls will be more than happy to sponsor it. Shit, I’ll even give you some pointers and show you how I hide my own stash and keep my mouth shut.

Best,
Kenny Bloggins

MP3 :::
Times New Viking – City on Drugs
The Rain Parade – Prisoners
Ariel Pink – House Arrest
Mazzy Star – Free

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The Decibel Tolls is Looking for New Contributors!

kermit

We’ve been really psyched on all the love that Web 2.0 has shown us in our first year up, so we’re looking to expand our output and get a couple new people aboard. While our focus will remain on music review/commentary/etc, we could really use some people who could help us take photos at shows and/or conduct interviews. Of course, if you don’t have a camera or live in the middle of nowhere that’s okay too, just send us 2 writing samples of your stuff (these don’t have to be published articles). Also, if you’ve got ideas for some feature writing, we’d be happy to house your scene reports, essays, analysis, or anything else you can make interesting. Honestly, we’re flexible as hell with content, all we really ask is that you:

-Understand the general taste and ethos of this website. (i.e. what genres we cover, who our pin cushions are, who butters our bread)
-Have a decent grip on the English language. (if you can fake it with spellcheck, more power to you, we’ll never know)
-Be able to contribute ideally 2-4 times a week. (or as much as you want)
-Can dig that this is a labor or love and therefore compensation will come in the form of free music, dumb e-mails from Bloggins and I, and being able to gain a little bit of exposure/practice in the world of music journalism.

So, if this sounds agreeable to you, send an email to mh[at]thedecibeltolls[dot]com letting us know a little bit about yourself, what kind of music you dig, what you’d like to do for The Decibel Tolls, and a few samples of your writing and/or photography. Happy applicating!

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Win a Pair of Tix for Evangelicals and Holiday Shores at Glassworks – 11/13

evangelicals_WEB Win a Pair of Tix for Evangelicals and Holiday Shores at Glassworks - 11/13

Hot Brown Mess, a new music promotions collective I am a part of, and I Guess I’m Floating are pleased to present Midwestern psychedelic pop purveyors Evangelicals with freewheeling sun-washed garage psych collective Holiday Shores and regional Brian Wilson incarnation Idiot Glee this Friday at Glassworks in Louisville. The show is short notice, sure, but it’s gonna rule. I has tickets to give you…

Alright, so the contest. I’ve been obsessed with Scott Hansen’s design work on ISO50. That’s what inspired the design of this show flier. I’m thinking about incorporating that whole Ektachrome look into a new design for The Decibel Tolls v4.0 (possibly a very similar image to the one I made for the poster above). That’s where you come in. E-mail kb@thedecibeltolls.com with your answer to the following question: would me redesigning the site for the third time in less than a year totally piss you off? Yay or nay? There’s no right or wrong answer. I’ll choose a winner at random by Thursday at noon. Good luck!

Evangelicals, Holiday Shores, and Idiot Glee
Friday, November 13
Glassworks
815 W. Market St., Louisville (map that shizz)
Doors @ 7:30
NOTHING BUT GOOD VIBES

MP3 :::
Holiday Shores – Tremor Rolls the Peak

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Win Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’s New Live CD/DVD

brmc Win Black Rebel Motorcycle Clubs New Live CD/DVD

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club is known for two things: 1) being called “hippies” by Brian Jonestown’s Joel Gion in Dig, and 2) very strong live shows. So considering the latter, it’s fitting the group is set to drop a 2 DVD and CD live package, poignantly titled Live. The package spans a number of European shows on their Baby 81 tour. The jam hive hits shelves next Tuesday, November 10th. Wanna win a copy? Cool… well I have two to give away.

Just shoot an email over to kb@thedecibeltolls.com and tell me what you’d like to see more of on the blog. We’ve had a lot of discussions on how to better serve you, the smarmy blog reader. This way, we get something, and you get something awesome. Contest closes on Friday at 5 p.m.

You can peep the track listing and pre-order info here. Good luck.

MP3 :::
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Spread Your Love [Live]

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Kanye Sez: Go See Marmoset, Invaders, and The Harlequins Tonight at Skull Alley in Louisville!

fruitbatskanye Kanye Sez: Go See Marmoset, Invaders, and The Harlequins Tonight at Skull Alley in Louisville!

Yeah, so evidently the “Fruit Bats” are playing a “show” across town and some dudes are worried that they’re going to have to choose between our show featuring a band named after a New World primate and the other show featuring a band named after a winged rodent. That’s a bummer, man. So here, I’ll help you out.

Let’s do a little cost-benefit analysis. Is the cost of being a wuss worth the benefit of seeing some sweet Sub Pop gentle indie jangle? Didn’t think so – we’ll see you at the sick Marmoset, Invaders, Harlequins gig tonight at Skull Alley (map that shizz).

Door at 8 p.m., seven federal reserve notes. Awesome.

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[Contest] Grab a Pair of Tickets for Marmoset This Friday

marmosetposterweb [Contest] Grab a Pair of Tickets for Marmoset This Friday

I know you’re already going to the Marmoset, Invaders, and the Harlequins show this Friday at Skull Alley, but if you haven’t RSVP’d yet on the FaCeBoOk event, I’d appreciate it if you went on and did that so I’ll know how much taco dip to make. But yeah, so you’re going and are probably stoked on it. How about upping the stokage by going on Friday FOR FREE?!

I have a pair of tickets that I’d like to give away, and this time I won’t even make you put forth any effort. This is a real freebie. Just leave a comment, a tweet, or shoot an email to kb (at) thedecibeltolls (dot) com sometime between now and Thursday at noon. I will pick a winner at random.

In order to claim, you must leave a valid email address or means of contact. Also, you must be in a reasonable position make it to the show on Friday.

MP3 :::
Marmoset – Lost Days For Ways
Invaders – Sinking Ship

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[Contest] Win a Pair of Tickets to See The Books

the-books-525x322 [Contest] Win a Pair of Tickets to See The Books

Intricate splatter folk prophets The Books, whom rarely tour these days and assemble a mindblowing A/V show that’s essentially a live art installation, are coming to Lexington on Monday, September 21st. First… holy shit, right? Better yet, a portion of the proceeds from the show will go toward renovating the architecturally significant Miller House. And The Books will be playing at The Miller House as well, so expect a very intimate vibe.

I have two tickets to giveaway. You probably want these said tickets. Here’s how to enter:

You may either leave a comment below or shoot a message to kb [at] thedecibeltolls (dot) com telling me about your favorite book (see what I did there?!). The first person to name a title I have on my bookshelf claims the tickets. You must live in the area (i.e. reasonably be able to drive to Lexington the day of the show) to be eligible.

I will name the winner by Monday, September 7 via email, so if you comment, leave a valid address. Finally, if you’re going (and you should), please click the “map that shizz” link below to find out where it is if you haven’t been there. It took some digging because Google Maps and Mapquest have the Miller House’s address incorrectly listed.

The Books with TBA
Monday, September 21

Doors @ 7 p.m. / $15 (available at the door or by reservation – griffin@bullhornwill.com
)
The Miller House
832 Lockmere Place, Lexington (map that shizz)

Sponsored by WRFL and Bullhorn Will

MP3 :::
The Books – A True Story of a Story of True Love

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