The folks at ProdSimp were rad enough to give us a pair of tickets to give away for the Tortoise and Disappears show tomorrow night, February 11, at Headliners Music Hall. Both bands rule hard, it’s going to be great, and you’re probably going either way, so why not save some coin and participate in our contest? To enter, send me some lyrics that Sir Wesley Willis could’ve penned about either Tortoise or Disappears (or both in the same song). I’ll start:

You are a rocking maniac
You were in The Sea and Cake and Gatr Del Sol
Millions Now Living Will Never Die is a rock and roll joyride
You really whip a polar bear’s ass with a belt

John McEntire
John McEntire
John McEntire
John McEntire

See? That was fun. You may either enter a comment below or shoot a message to kb [at] thedecibeltolls(dot)com. Need to see that shit by tomorrow at noon EST, and you’ll be notified by email that yours was the most awesome. You must either live in Louisville or be able to reasonably make it here to be eligible. If you don’t win, there will still be some tickets available at the door tomorrow night at 8 p.m., so don’t sleep on it.

MP3 :::
Tortoise – Dot/Eyes
Disappears – Old Friend

We at The Decibel Tolls wish you nothing but the best in Madden 2K10. Hope you party hard tonight in celebration of the Gregorian calendar and feel like hell tomorrow. That’s my plan (thanks, Cabo Wabo). If you’re not sure how to most effectively and efficiently party, have Andrew WK help you understand supply-side partynomics (though they’re planning a birthday party, you can apply the same principals to properly observe this holiday). Keep it crunk but keep it positive:

MP3 :::
Wooden Shjips – Auld Lang Syne

Wowzers. 2009 has been a brilliant but sad year. While we saw lots of aggressive expansion here at The Decibel Tolls, and lots of superb jammage has stormed our headspace, we also lost some of the most iconic figures of our culture, such as Tiger Woods and Jeff Goldblum. So sad. R.I.P., you guys. Yet our resolve is unwavering as we enter a new and exciting decade that, if the Lord is on our side, will be without Yeasayer. To celebrate, you’ll be seeing some changes around these parts.

First, look out for our massive, tongue-in-cheek year-end stuff on Friday, December 18. It’s gonna be some shit.

Second, we want to warmly welcome our newest contributor – Monsieur Daniel Krow. D Krow is a resident of Portland, Oregon, enjoys music that upsets the dog and his neighbors, and is an all around real son of a bitch. He’s going to write some in-depth commentaries that will sear your eyeballs and turn your brain into a cottonball. Additionally, he’ll be covering some of the excellent shows that pass through Portland that pass up my home of Louisville and Hansen’s home of Boston because we’re not as rad or somethin’ (despite the fact that our homes have respectively produced the likes of Slint and, um, Boston). Also, he has a vestigial head, which is fucking awesome and a major bonus for this blog. He can be reached at dkrow [at] thedecibeltolls(dot)com.

Finally, The Decibel Tolls v4.0 is on its way. There won’t be any major changes insofar as the types of dramatic shifts the blog has seen before. The layout will be the same, but the design and feel of the front page will be tweaked with additional features integrated. It’ll still be easy to navigate and will utilize my customized version of the K2 Wordpress theme. I’m also considering taking off the ads. But to be honest, we’re selfish bastards, so the ads might stay. Beer money doesn’t grow on trees. It grows on the various ad network affiliates that we’re very proud to be a part of (love you MOG, send us more shit).

Alright, that’s it! Look out for D Krow’s first article later this afternoon. In it, he calls Ariel Pink the artist of the year, despite the fact that he hasn’t really done shit this year. However, all of the current media darlings are ripping him off hard, despite the fact that these very same people called Ariel a joke not more than five years ago. Krow’s callin’ people out. Gauntlet thrown, ya’ll.

Despite the fact that I have been critical in the past of some of their programming choices, Marion at 91.9 WFPK was still nice enough to let me come in and take over the airwaves for a few minutes for their program Off The Record. Off The Record has a different Louisville personality select and discuss any five songs. I decided to use this opportunity to introduce a large local audience to Hauntology, a genre that, of course, is heavily covered on this blog. Off The Record airs at various times midday throughout the week. If you’re not in the Louisville area, you can listen to the segment below. Kinda stoked to get Ariel Pink and other various strangeness some airplay on a Triple-A radio station.

Playlist:
Belbury Poly – “Scarlet Ceremony”
Broadcast & The Focus Group – “The Be Colony”
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti – “Artifact”
Boards Of Canada – “The Beach At Redpoint”
Bibio – “Carosello Ellitico”

MP3 :::
WFPK’s Off the Record for the week of December 7, 2009

No doubt you’re already all up on the double vinyl release Monoliths & These Flowers Never Die. The party for Phantom Family Halo goes down this Wednesday at Lisa’s Oak Street Lounge with openers Softcheque (for fans of Blues Control, Broadcast, Stereolab). I’ve got two guest list passes for the show. Want to go? Leave a comment or shoot an email to kb[at]thedecibeltolls with the answer to the following question:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR, PILGRIM?!

A winner will be chosen at random, or maybe a winner will be chosen for best response, or… I dunno. But someone will be crowned tomorrow evening by 1800 hrs (that’s 6 p.m.), so shoot that shit my way. You must verify that you’ll be in the Louisville area for the holiday week.

Monoliths & These Flowers Never Die Record Release Party:
Phantom Family Halo with Softcheque and DJ Chaddles
Wednesday, November 25
Lisa’ Oak Street Lounge
1004 E. Oak St., Louisville (map that shizz)
9 p.m.-ish
21+

This show serves as the kick-off for their tourwith Chicago-based cloud-seeding post-rock juggernaut Russian Circles (FIYL Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, Godspeed You Black Emperor) and new Temporary Residence decibel shredders Young Widows. Happy holidays, scaliwag:

NOV 27 – Detroit MI, Magic Stick
NOV 28 – Buffalo, NY Soundlab
NOV 30 – Milford CT, Daniel Street
DEC 1 – New York NY, Bowery Ballroom
DEC 2 – Cambridge MA, The Middle East
DEC 3 – Washington DC, DC9
DEC 4 – Philadelphia PA, First Unitarian Church
DEC 6 – Montreal QC, Il Motore
DEC 7 – Toronto ON, Lee’s Place
DEC 9 – Kalamazoo MI, The Strut
DEC 10 – Cleveland OH, The Grog Shop
DEC 11 – Louisville KY, Skull Alley
DEC 12 – Chicago, IL, Lincoln Hall

MP3 :::
Phantom Family Halo – Child of Light
Russian Circles - When the Mountain Comes to Muhammad

To Whichever BBQ Bro It May Concern,

Hey everybody! What’s good? Not much here. Just getting ready to fuck up a can of Campbell’s Chunky for lunch. Should rule.

Welp… heard you all got in a lil’ pickle outside of Nashville in Hopkinsville, Ky. Got nailed for having a lil’ “controlled substance” for party hard solutions. That’s a bummer, man. It’s kinda like the song “Rollin’ Dirty” with the Bone Thug bros. I probably would’ve been humming that to myself if I were in a similar situation. Anyway, good to hear you’re out of the slammer. Hope you followed protocol and bitched up to someone. I’ve not been incarcerated myself, but it’s my understanding that doing such is just good standard operating procedure. When in Rome, amirite?

Alright, let’s get to brass tacks. I recently read that Sam Hunt, your booking agent with Windish (who’s a super great guy who helped us secure a lot of awesome shows for WRFL when I hung tough there – tell him we said hello), gave the local reporter in Hopkinsville a couple of preliminary ruminations from the band: “I’d kind of be surprised if they played again,” Hunt said. “It’s been a real drag, you know? It’s been a real shame for a lot of reasons. They’ll probably never set foot in Kentucky again.”

Ever play again? What, are you guys that wimpy? That shit’s sad, Khan. Lil’ Wayne’s getting his ass arrested all the time, but he still seems to release 500 mixtapes a year and rock a House of Blues or two. I mean, you’re following in a fine tradition of rock stars sporting the fluorescent jumpsuit – check out Rolling Stone’s Hall of Fame. Work this to your advantage. All press is good press, guys. That’s PR 101.

Secondly – “never set foot in Kentucky again”? Dude, that’s some Laguna Beach shit. Like, “She tried to hook up with Stephen, I’m never talking to that bitch again.” What’s with the pedestrian playground mentality? You guys are Pitchfork fodder with a deece record contract. Time to put on the big boy pants now.

Look… unfortunately, there’s no room in this letter to discuss the nature of the war on drugs. Sure, it totally sucks you all were arrested and jailed for a non-violent crime and drug laws in the states are kinda fucked. But the fact of the matter is, right or wrong, the law is the law, and drugs are crazy illegal (see your local statute book and The Wire). So if you’re going to do something illegal, don’t get caught. If you have drugs in the car, it should go without saying that you roll careful style. And if you don’t successfully evade Johnny Law, displacing blame for getting caught with your own stash (that you’re fully aware is not legal) is kinda immature and makes you sorta look like an asshole. Just sayin’.

I understand that you weren’t pulled over for speeding or the like, but were stopped at a random safety checkpoint. Regardless, an officer cannot search your vehicle (“illegal search and seizure” in legalese) in any case without either probable cause or your consent.

The band’s official statement said “officers located a controlled substance in the cab of the vehicle.” That begs the question – how did the officers locate your shroomage? Did you allow them to search your van?  Or did you have your paraphernalia all strewn about the vehicle, providing plain sight probable cause? If it’s the former, what the hell? I have nothing else to say to you. If it’s the latter… dude, hide your shit. Especially at checkpoints! It didn’t exactly sneak up on you, ya know! The majority of the Interstate system is comprised of long stretches of completely straight asphalt, as per the original Eisenhower plan. Especially in places like western Kentucky where it’s flat!

The only other scenario I can picture is that manager Kristin Klein’s expired or suspended license warranted the search. Maybe someone who had a driver license should’ve been behind the wheel. Again, good job.

So, like, all things considered, responding to your own ineptitude by saying “fuck this state, we’re never coming here again” is rather asinine, don’t you think? Saving face and manning up is a good style. Just somethin’ to chew on. If you do decide to tour these parts again though, The Decibel Tolls will be more than happy to sponsor it. Shit, I’ll even give you some pointers and show you how I hide my own stash and keep my mouth shut.

Best,
Kenny Bloggins

MP3 :::
Times New Viking – City on Drugs
The Rain Parade – Prisoners
Ariel Pink – House Arrest
Mazzy Star – Free

We’ve been really psyched on all the love that Web 2.0 has shown us in our first year up, so we’re looking to expand our output and get a couple new people aboard. While our focus will remain on music review/commentary/etc, we could really use some people who could help us take photos at shows and/or conduct interviews. Of course, if you don’t have a camera or live in the middle of nowhere that’s okay too, just send us 2 writing samples of your stuff (these don’t have to be published articles). Also, if you’ve got ideas for some feature writing, we’d be happy to house your scene reports, essays, analysis, or anything else you can make interesting. Honestly, we’re flexible as hell with content, all we really ask is that you:

-Understand the general taste and ethos of this website. (i.e. what genres we cover, who our pin cushions are, who butters our bread)
-Have a decent grip on the English language. (if you can fake it with spellcheck, more power to you, we’ll never know)
-Be able to contribute ideally 2-4 times a week. (or as much as you want)
-Can dig that this is a labor or love and therefore compensation will come in the form of free music, dumb e-mails from Bloggins and I, and being able to gain a little bit of exposure/practice in the world of music journalism.

So, if this sounds agreeable to you, send an email to mh[at]thedecibeltolls[dot]com letting us know a little bit about yourself, what kind of music you dig, what you’d like to do for The Decibel Tolls, and a few samples of your writing and/or photography. Happy applicating!

Hot Brown Mess, a new music promotions collective I am a part of, and I Guess I’m Floating are pleased to present Midwestern psychedelic pop purveyors Evangelicals with freewheeling sun-washed garage psych collective Holiday Shores and regional Brian Wilson incarnation Idiot Glee this Friday at Glassworks in Louisville. The show is short notice, sure, but it’s gonna rule. I has tickets to give you…

Alright, so the contest. I’ve been obsessed with Scott Hansen’s design work on ISO50. That’s what inspired the design of this show flier. I’m thinking about incorporating that whole Ektachrome look into a new design for The Decibel Tolls v4.0 (possibly a very similar image to the one I made for the poster above). That’s where you come in. E-mail kb@thedecibeltolls.com with your answer to the following question: would me redesigning the site for the third time in less than a year totally piss you off? Yay or nay? There’s no right or wrong answer. I’ll choose a winner at random by Thursday at noon. Good luck!

Evangelicals, Holiday Shores, and Idiot Glee
Friday, November 13
Glassworks
815 W. Market St., Louisville (map that shizz)
Doors @ 7:30
NOTHING BUT GOOD VIBES

MP3 :::
Holiday Shores – Tremor Rolls the Peak

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club is known for two things: 1) being called “hippies” by Brian Jonestown’s Joel Gion in Dig, and 2) very strong live shows. So considering the latter, it’s fitting the group is set to drop a 2 DVD and CD live package, poignantly titled Live. The package spans a number of European shows on their Baby 81 tour. The jam hive hits shelves next Tuesday, November 10th. Wanna win a copy? Cool… well I have two to give away.

Just shoot an email over to kb@thedecibeltolls.com and tell me what you’d like to see more of on the blog. We’ve had a lot of discussions on how to better serve you, the smarmy blog reader. This way, we get something, and you get something awesome. Contest closes on Friday at 5 p.m.

You can peep the track listing and pre-order info here. Good luck.

MP3 :::
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Spread Your Love [Live]

Yeah, so evidently the “Fruit Bats” are playing a “show” across town and some dudes are worried that they’re going to have to choose between our show featuring a band named after a New World primate and the other show featuring a band named after a winged rodent. That’s a bummer, man. So here, I’ll help you out.

Let’s do a little cost-benefit analysis. Is the cost of being a wuss worth the benefit of seeing some sweet Sub Pop gentle indie jangle? Didn’t think so – we’ll see you at the sick Marmoset, Invaders, Harlequins gig tonight at Skull Alley (map that shizz).

Door at 8 p.m., seven federal reserve notes. Awesome.