This is a special Super Swingin’ Mix… because it might be the last one ever. I threw links in this post like you eat lunch.

As I’ve mentioned before, Swan Fungus is one of my favorite blogs out there (along with WFMU’s and Raven Sings the Blues). With regard to the former, I like the author’s idea of yanking a bunch of news stories together and then posting totally righteous jam hives that may or may not have anything to do with what he’s writing about. I’m going to steal that idea (with attribution of course), but up the ante a bit and try to relate the music to a news story. Anton Newcombe does this a lot on his MySpazzz blog, which is how I accidentally got into an online dork fight with him – a story I’ll save for another day. I take that back – we might all be dead on Wednesday if CERN fucks up their lil’ Big Bang experiment. So maybe you won’t get that story from me. That’s probably the least of your concerns.

All in all, recreating the origin of our universe and all of existence will probably be tits. And I totally administer props to CERN for trying to book Spiritualized to perform in celebration of this experiment. But in the off chance that something gets unequivocally fucked in this decidedly dubious pow-wow, I might not go to work Wednesday. I do not want to die sitting at my desk. I mean, that would be fucking sad. I think I’ll kick it at home, grab some beer technology, and have tons of monumental sex with my girlfriend instead, which is a better power play on apocalypse day. I also don’t plan to write a living will and testament, since not even light can escape the extreme, space-time-continuum-bending gravitational force of a black hole, suggesting that my estate probably won’t stay intact anyhow. So don’t plan on getting my Wii.

If you’re not hip to what CERN’s up to these days, EU and US scientists are totally gonna recreate the state of the universe immediately after the Big Bang, deep below the alps, with the 17-mile long Large Hadron Collider. It’s (supposedly) the most massive experiment ever conducted. But it also is (supposedly) a potential gnarly scene. Sounds rad to me either way. Luckily, even if the jive-like worst case scenario manifests itself, Stephen Colbert’s DNA will be floating in space somewhere for extraterrestrials to clone and manipulate and shit.

Here’s yr. research style, with slammin’ animated GIFs to boot. Theoretical physics rules my life. I wish I had my girlfriend’s copy of Paul Davies’ How to Build a Time Machine with me to shed some additional light, for you dear readers, on the stability of black holes and wormholes… stuff like that. Lest we forget those pesky strangelets, as well. If I had to write a headline, I think I’d title it “Hardcore Celestial Happenstance Harshes Mellows Worldwide.”

But even if Wednesday’s flippin’ of the switch goes as smooth as Michael McDonald, we still have that whole The North Pole Ice Cap is an Island For the First Time in Human History thing going on. I’d like to thank the Baby Boomers for fucking my generation, and future generations, over. Tiiiiiight. Thanks guys!

So to celebrate CERN doin’ it live, I’ve gathered a few pleasant, apocalyptic canticles to provide the perfect soundtrack for either a efficiently swallowed Earth (a la CERN), or a slowly dying Earth (a la mankind’s insolence). I’ve always found Bardo Pond to be pretty fitting end-of-the-world bumper music, so I included a couple tracks from them. I’m super pumped about the songs I chose. Though not every jam specifically addresses an accidental astrophysical clusterfuck – the titles, themes, mood, et al. convey a general things-are-fucked notion. I mean, you can’t argue that Boris and Kites aren’t par for the endtymez course. Catch one Cold War reference and one Revelations allegory, and you’ll win something yet to be determined. Leave a comment below.

So happy Monday, you guyses. Prepare to die lol.

MP3 :::
Bardo Pond – This Time (So Fucked)
Bardo Pond – Night of Frogs
The Warlocks – Come Save Us
Boris – Blackout
Love – The Red Telephone
M83 – God of Thunder
The Besnard Lakes – Devastation
Loop – Black Sun
The Vaselines – No Hope
Kites – Exploded Face
Akron/Family – Don’t Be Afraid, You’re Already Dead

Despite that fact that the sun radiated full force on Union Park, baking the crowd in 95+ degree weather, Boris was too dark and mysterious to not wear black. Czech the gong.

Boris’ set was very tight and put the crusty dude contingent of Pitchfork into a frenzy. I thought the set was a tad disappointing since they focused more on their metal oriented material rather than their more drone and psych oriented trip-outs on Rainbow and Altar. Though I do understand why they didn’t play those songs, as both of those records were collaborations with Michio Kurihara (of Ghost) and Sunn O))), respectively. Nevertheless, it was nice to see Pitchfork add an evil aspect to the Sunday lineup.

Of course, for all sinister live shows, it helps to bring your best blankey for sitting down solutions.

The only thing at Pitchfork Music Festival 2008 that was more metal than Boris was the mascot for one of the fine BBQ vendors on the concourse. Meet Righteous Oinker.

Straight from my view from the cheap seats, here’s the Decibel Tolls’ preview for some choice artists I’m anticipating seeing at this year’s festival. My prophecies for these shows have been gleaned from my experience with a couple of these artists in the past, general intuition, and my magic 8-ball. First, it should be noted that the clouds are currently graying here in Chicago, and it looks like the first day of rain we’ve had in, oh I dunno, two weeks or so will conveniently happen during the festival. Just our luck, right? Should be a delightfully apocalyptic time!

It’s somewhat unfortunate that Caribou was slotted for a 2 p.m. show. As with any psych group worth their salt, Caribou offers very enthralling visual aspects including background images that look like they were taken out of a Julian House book. No matter, Caribou has the chops to engage with or without seizure-inducing lights. They hang tough with two drummers, including Dan Snaith himself. When I saw Caribou with Battles at the Metro in November, it was an exercise in percussive fortitude. Since he’s not promoting a particular album at this point, it’s a safe bet that Caribou will dig deep throughout his catalog, which is generally the preferred position for me. Caribou is absolutely not to be missed. [Saturday : 2 p.m. : Connector Stage]

I had the privilege of being involved with two different Animal Collective shows, and if I was smart, would’ve started this blog back then. When you help run a concert through either a venue or your college radio station, it’s easier to score interviews and sound bites. But enough about my stupidity… The first show was in the last wake after Sung Tongs in the spring of ‘05, right at the time the group was moving away from more acoustic material. Jane (Panda Bear and friend Scott Mou) was getting ready to drop the excellent but zoned out Berserker, and you certainly heard a lot of that. It was very droney, and the crowd seemed somewhat polarized by the lack of Sung Tongs songs played. It was great nonetheless, but would’ve been better to see in a theater instead of a standing room recital hall. Animal Collective understands this to an extent, so I would be surprised if the outdoor Union Park setting didn’t encourage the more pop-oriented side of their repertoire (with a little Here Comes the Indian thrown in for good measure and to draw a line in the sand). The second time was at The Dame in Lexington in May of ‘07. AC toured sans Deakon, and considering the electronic structures on what was to be Strawberry Jam, it didn’t much matter. The performance was unrelenting. They played non-stop, with all three members in queue facing the side of the stage instead of the front, and swaying in unison like a cult. It was a sinister, but dare I say, upbeat and almost danceable performance. Every song morphed into the next, and most songs were unrecognizable until Avey Tare throated out the first lyrical yelp. Every Animal Collective show is different, and that’s part of what makes them one of the most exciting, relevant groups of today. Panda Bear is a super rad dude, by the wayz. [Saturday : 9 p.m. : Aluminum Stage]

Boris has a wealth of source material to choose from, with their prolific output of releases and collaborations. Though some of their best stuff to date has come from their work with Michio Kurihara of Ghost and Sunn O))), Boris, either out of respect or functionality, will probably not perform these songs. And I certainly would be surprised if we heard anything from their Merzbow split Rock Dream. No matter what the show shapes up to be, Boris will be the loudest band, and most immovable object, at Pitchfork. I’m not a bettin’ man, but I would put money on that (unless Spiritualized shows up with, like, 30 goddamn dudes). If “Blackout” from Pink starts rumbling from the PA at 10,000 watts of evil, all bets are off. Shut down the park, call the police. [Sunday : 2 p.m. : Connector Stage]

This might be wishful thinking, but I want, as mentioned, Spiritualized [Sunday : 7 p.m. : Aluminum Stage] to show up with 30 goddamn dudes. Like this:

If you didn’t get tickets yet, well, they’re gone except for tonight’s performances. But, you can catch some streaming live intarweb action at the festival’s website.
Pitchfork Music Festival 2008