When I think of summer and the hot weather that we’ve been sometimes enjoying, I often conjure this majestic image in my head:

Treated. It’s the Tornado at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. You can probably see this thing from space. It’s huge. I’ve made one pilgrimage across town this summer to do bidding with the mighty Tornado, and plan to go five more times (as per the season pass). Not that any of this matters to you, of course. You probably just want the jams. Fair enough. Here is a summerish mix that, despite my admiration for Brian Wilson, does not feature any Beach Boys songs. That’s just too obvious, ya know:

As a buddy of mine once said “keep it crunk, but keep it positive.”

MP3 :::
Darker My Love – Summer is Here
Shop Assistants – Almost Made It
Sun City Girls – Radar 1941
The Jesus and Mary Chain – On the Wall (the better Barbed Wire Kisses version)
Atlas Sound – On Guard
City Center – Gladest
Amen Dunes – In Caroline
Friends – Summer Sunday Blues
Seals & Crofts – Summer Breeze
The Clean – Beatnik

O JUNK YA’LLZ!!1 I’VE BEEN SOOOO BAKED 2DAY I ALMOST 4GOT TO PUT 2GETHER A MIX FOR 420. I’M LIKE THAT ADULTERER IN THE BIBLE STORY… LOVE TO GET STONED, KNOW WUT I’M SAYING?!?!?! NAH I’M JUST KIDDING.

N-E WAYZ, 420 IS MAH FAVORITE HOLIDAY AND I CELEBRATE IT EVERY YEAR B/C I FEEL IT IS IMPORTANT THAT WE LEGALIZE THE GANJ. GRASS HELPS ME AND OTHER PPL FIND OUT THE TRUTH IN THINGS. AND U KNOW WHAT? MAN, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT THE REAL CRIME IS… IT’S WHEN OUR FASCIST GOVERNMENT TELL US… WAIT, MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT DERAILED. O WELL, LOL. BUT YEAH, AS I SAID EARLIER I MADE YA’LLZ A MIX TO BRING IN THE HOLIDAY RIGHT. ALSO, IF U WANT TO SMOKE GRASS BUT CAN’T ROLL A DEECE J, HERE’S HOW TO MAKE A GRAVITY BONG WITH HOUSEHOLD ITEMS. PEACE.

For this classroom activity, you will need:
- Kitchen mop bucket (preferably unused or at least thoroughly washed)
- a 2-liter bottle
- Sink faucet screen with nut (the lil’ doo-dad where the water comes out)
- Aluminum foil
- Knife or scissors
- Access to municipal tap water, yo

THIS IS 4 TOBACCO USE ONLY, THO, SO DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME WITH N-E THING ELSE *WIIINKZ NUDGE*

Fill bucket about 3/4 with water. Cut four small incisions at the bottom of the plastic bottle. Remove bottle cap, replace with sink screen and nut, and pad bottle nozzle tightly with aluminum foil (don’t want any of the tobackee smoke *wiiink* to get out).  Fill screen with your favorite flavored tobacco. Push bottle toward bottom of bucket. Light tobacco and slowly pull bottle up out of water. Remove cap, put mouth on bottle nozzle then slowly start pushing bottle back down into bucket while inhaling. And viola! ENJOI YR. FINE AMERICAN GROWN TOBACCO PRODUCTS LOLZ.

IF YA’LLZ HAVE N-E ?’S U CAN HIT ME UP ON AIM MY SCREENNAME IS SMOAK420

If you do get busted by the po-lice for enjoyin’ the finer things in life, tell them that you got these gravity “tobacco” bong instructions from Gorilla Vs. Bear, ya know what I’m sayin’.

MP3 :::
Acid Mothers Temple & The Melting Paraiso UFO – Ange Mecanique De Saturne
Magik Markers – There is No Path Which is Not Straight
Loop – Fade Out
Comets on Fire – Jaybird
Pink Floyd – Astronomy Domine
Darker My Love – I Feel Fine
The Byrds – Space Odyssey
Landing – Gravitational 2
Cloudland Canyon – Mothlight Part 1
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti – Gettin’ High in the Morning
The Black Angels – Snake in the Grass
13th Floor Elevators – Slip Inside This House
Deerhunter – Octet
Frank Zappa – Flower Punk

Fun fact! Darker My Love’s rhythm guitarist is known as “The Sandwich.” I want a nickname like The Sandwich. Leave your suggestion(s) as a comment below. Don’t be a jerk, though.

MP3 :::
Darker My Love – Two Ways Out

So now to the point – one very excellent band and one very good band will be opening for the Dandys this fall. The first, Darker My Love, will provide the opening white noise squall throughout the fall to promote their upcoming album, in a Zepplinesque fashion, 2. They’re playing a few west coast dates starting next week to premiere the jam hive, then go out on the road and, hopefully, steal Courtney’s drugs when he’s not looking. Aces. 2 drops like Fat Man and Little Boy on August 5.

7/17 San Francisco, CA – Popscene
7/18 Los Angeles, CA – The Echo.
7/24 San Francisco, CA – Rickshaw Stop
7/25 Los Angeles, CA – The Echo
7/26 Seattle, WA – Capitol Hill Block Party
8/5 San Francisco, CA – The Independent.
8/7 Los Angeles, CA – Troubadour.
9/9 Minneapolis, MN – First Avenue
9/10 Madison, WI – Barrymore Theatre
9/12 Chicago – Vic Theatre
9/13 Toronto – Kool Haus
9/14 Montreal . Club Soda
9/16 Boston – Wilbur Theatre
9/17 NYC – Terminal 5
9/20 Philadelphia – Theater of Living Arts
9/22 Washington, DC – 9:30 Club
9/23 Atlanta – Center Stage Atlanta
9/26 Lawrence, KS – Liberty Hall
9/27 Denver – Gothic Theatre
9/28 Aspen, CO – Belly Up Aspen

Brookyln’s A Place to Bury Strangers will be opening the two SoCal dates: Oct 1 in San Diego at Belly Up, and Oct 3 in LA at the Wiltern Theater. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing them at the Empty Bottle here in Chicago on Sept 21 (that’s the fall equinox, ya’ll) because, ya know, I’ve never seen the Jesus and Mary Chain live. And if I did see them live, I’d want them to do a “Don’t Look Back” performance of Psychocandy. Since that won’t happen, A Place to Bury Strangers fills that void in my black heart. Supposedly they’re the loudest band around these days, but I’ll believe that when I see it. Mogwai, Hair Police, and Dalek are pretty loud, and all have done permanent damage to my hearing. But if A Place to Bury Strangers can hang in that company, they will conquer live. And upset every Dandy fan in the audience.

MP3 :::
Darker My Love – Summer is Here
A Place to Bury Strangers – Another Step Away