This is a special Super Swingin’ Mix… because it might be the last one ever. I threw links in this post like you eat lunch.

As I’ve mentioned before, Swan Fungus is one of my favorite blogs out there (along with WFMU’s and Raven Sings the Blues). With regard to the former, I like the author’s idea of yanking a bunch of news stories together and then posting totally righteous jam hives that may or may not have anything to do with what he’s writing about. I’m going to steal that idea (with attribution of course), but up the ante a bit and try to relate the music to a news story. Anton Newcombe does this a lot on his MySpazzz blog, which is how I accidentally got into an online dork fight with him – a story I’ll save for another day. I take that back – we might all be dead on Wednesday if CERN fucks up their lil’ Big Bang experiment. So maybe you won’t get that story from me. That’s probably the least of your concerns.

All in all, recreating the origin of our universe and all of existence will probably be tits. And I totally administer props to CERN for trying to book Spiritualized to perform in celebration of this experiment. But in the off chance that something gets unequivocally fucked in this decidedly dubious pow-wow, I might not go to work Wednesday. I do not want to die sitting at my desk. I mean, that would be fucking sad. I think I’ll kick it at home, grab some beer technology, and have tons of monumental sex with my girlfriend instead, which is a better power play on apocalypse day. I also don’t plan to write a living will and testament, since not even light can escape the extreme, space-time-continuum-bending gravitational force of a black hole, suggesting that my estate probably won’t stay intact anyhow. So don’t plan on getting my Wii.

If you’re not hip to what CERN’s up to these days, EU and US scientists are totally gonna recreate the state of the universe immediately after the Big Bang, deep below the alps, with the 17-mile long Large Hadron Collider. It’s (supposedly) the most massive experiment ever conducted. But it also is (supposedly) a potential gnarly scene. Sounds rad to me either way. Luckily, even if the jive-like worst case scenario manifests itself, Stephen Colbert’s DNA will be floating in space somewhere for extraterrestrials to clone and manipulate and shit.

Here’s yr. research style, with slammin’ animated GIFs to boot. Theoretical physics rules my life. I wish I had my girlfriend’s copy of Paul Davies’ How to Build a Time Machine with me to shed some additional light, for you dear readers, on the stability of black holes and wormholes… stuff like that. Lest we forget those pesky strangelets, as well. If I had to write a headline, I think I’d title it “Hardcore Celestial Happenstance Harshes Mellows Worldwide.”

But even if Wednesday’s flippin’ of the switch goes as smooth as Michael McDonald, we still have that whole The North Pole Ice Cap is an Island For the First Time in Human History thing going on. I’d like to thank the Baby Boomers for fucking my generation, and future generations, over. Tiiiiiight. Thanks guys!

So to celebrate CERN doin’ it live, I’ve gathered a few pleasant, apocalyptic canticles to provide the perfect soundtrack for either a efficiently swallowed Earth (a la CERN), or a slowly dying Earth (a la mankind’s insolence). I’ve always found Bardo Pond to be pretty fitting end-of-the-world bumper music, so I included a couple tracks from them. I’m super pumped about the songs I chose. Though not every jam specifically addresses an accidental astrophysical clusterfuck – the titles, themes, mood, et al. convey a general things-are-fucked notion. I mean, you can’t argue that Boris and Kites aren’t par for the endtymez course. Catch one Cold War reference and one Revelations allegory, and you’ll win something yet to be determined. Leave a comment below.

So happy Monday, you guyses. Prepare to die lol.

MP3 :::
Bardo Pond – This Time (So Fucked)
Bardo Pond – Night of Frogs
The Warlocks – Come Save Us
Boris – Blackout
Love – The Red Telephone
M83 – God of Thunder
The Besnard Lakes – Devastation
Loop – Black Sun
The Vaselines – No Hope
Kites – Exploded Face
Akron/Family – Don’t Be Afraid, You’re Already Dead