The Decibel Tolls

Too broke to booze tonight (except for some Heaven Hill, which I won’t go into) so I might as well blog like the winner I am. It should be apparent that I have the taste for the strange, and I often try to find gems of inexplicable oddity on YouTube. The third Adventures in YouTubin’ comes, this time around, with a theme and a new graphic (that, come to think of it, looks like I’m promoting a rave or some shit) – strange moments on the tele, subsequently uploaded to YouTube.

Enter fake Max Headroom:

I can only imagine that this was rather horrifying and surreal to randomly see on PBS. One autumn November evening in 1987, Chicago’s WTTW was airing a fun and fancy-free episode of Dr. Who, when the signal was intercepted and overtaken by pirates.

In order to hijack a television feed, you would need very sophisticated, expensive microwave equipment capable of overtaking a television station’s signal (not to mention extremely specialized technical knowledge). You would also need to know the exact location of the uplink antenna and be within line-of-sight. However, WTTW’s was on top of the Sears Tower, a very visible landmark, making it a bit easier to find, and certainly impossible to locate where the pirate signal came from. Investigators concluded that the “signal pirate” smothered WTTW’s broadcast with a large and uncommon rig of sufficient microwave power, the type of equipment that could be purchased for about $25,000 (in ‘87 no less), or rented for a few thousand dollars. If one wanted to cover their tracks well, the microwave rig could be disassembled and transported using a few large suitcases. It’s also possible that the pirate could’ve gained access to a powerful ground-based transmitter. He was never caught.

The mask, if you’re wondering, is the protagonist from the mid-’80s post apocalyptic program Max Headroom, a type of Orwellian show wherein tyrannical corporations control the media (sounds familiar) and subversives would disseminate their message of freedom by hijacking live TV signals. The social commentary was not lost on investigators.

The stunt required a lot of work, know-how, and money to pull off, all at significant personal and legal risk… for this:

“He’s a freaky nerd!””This guy’s better than Chuck Swirsky.” (a WGN sportscaster at the time)
“Oh Jesus!”
“Catch the wave.” (a reference to the New Coke marketing slogan)
“Your love is fading.”
[hums the theme song to the 1959 TV series “Clutch Cargo”]
“I stole CBS.”
“Oh, I just made a giant masterpiece printed all over the greatest world newspaper nerds.”
“My brother is wearing the other one.”
“It’s dirty.”
“They’re coming to get me!” [then cue mock S&M scene]

Moral of the story – be thankful. Do you see the lengths people had to go to publicize their pointless bullshit prior to the Internet?

It’s great when you can present a video so strange that John Cage’s “Water Walk” seems rather tame:

Not much to add here. This is an excerpt from a game show called I’ve Got a Secret. I have a feeling that some TV exec or talent buyer lost their job after this one, especially since this was three years prior to Steve Allen getting away with letting Frank Zappa play a bike on live television.

Finally, this could be classified as a horrifying moment in television like the first video, I suppose, though I don’t know if this is actually airing anywhere else besides public access. For those unfamiliar, the TARC is the Transit Authority of River City, our public transit system here in Louisville.  The city’s initiating a fairly big push to go green, so more people are riding their bikes. Unfortunately, a lot of the busier streets don’t have bike lanes at the moment, so people switch to the bus. Evidently, there were enough people who couldn’t figure out how to bring their bike on the bus to convince TARC they needed to spend money producing… this…

Sweet sassy molassey. I would be totally bummed if I was a bus driver and had to participate in this. Kinda reminds me of D’Mite’s “Read a Book,” though, what do you think? Also, “concept and lyrics by Mamma Jamma.” I love this city.

If you find something insane on YouTube that should be featured here, send me an email: kb [at] thedecibeltolls (dot) com, and you’ll get some sort of prize if we feature it. Can’t guarantee it’s a good prize, but something free nonetheless.